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Category Archive for 'Love'

Oh, Suzanne Venker. Your marriage was in trouble. You admit that your “alpha ways were bumping up against” your husband’s “alpha nature,” that you were “like two bulls hanging out in the same pen together, and there was too much friction.”  So you decided you needed to become more feminine because it worked in your […]

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If we are to take the new 60 Minutes/Vanity Fair poll on marriage to heart, then Americans are still stuck in some sort of happily-ever-after rom-com version of wedded bliss. But like a lot of polls, the ways questions are phrased, what gets asked and what doesn’t, and who gets asked and who doesn’t have […]

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We are approaching Valentine’s Day, the most romantic time of the year, according to many. It’s when we buy a card and chocolates in heart-shaped boxes, and profess our love to our one true love. But what if you have two true loves? If you’re Carrie Jenkins, a philosophy professor at the University of British […]

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On a rainy cold night recently, I watched “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” again, the Oscar-winning 2004 film about love by screenwriter Charlie Kaufman and Michel Gondry that developed a cult following of sorts. Ostensibly, the romantic-sci-fi-comedy-drama addresses the importance of memory even as we struggle to get closure after a relationship falls apart […]

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I am not a fan of the self-help industry nor of most so-called relationship “experts.” Whenever people start spewing what someone should or shouldn’t do, I get nervous. Who can tell us what’s right or wrong for us? That said, some people often make sense in sharing their stories of their missteps and what they […]

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We had been talking about honesty in romantic relationships — how honest should you be, and if there’s a place for little white lies.  It was prompted by a memory. Years ago a friend was egged on by her husband to tell him her fantasies. She hesitated for a long time because her fantasy involved […]

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Let’s say you’re in a long-term marriage, one that’s pretty satisfying. You love your spouse, your spouse loves you, but you have a lot of things on your plate — work and kids and other things — and you’ve lost your sexual mojo. Would you tell your spouse, “Please have sex with someone else?”  That’s […]

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I’ve long been a fan of the writings of Meg-John Barker, a psychology lecturer and sex and gender therapist whose book, Rewriting the Rules, is a must-read for those who question the romantic love script most of us tend to follow as if it’s the only path available to us.  So I was not surprised […]

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Recently, an old Modern Love piece appeared in my social media feed. It was about consensual non-monogamy so of course I had to click on it. I suppose it was a popular piece, as most Modern Love essays are, but this one — “When an Open Relationship Comes at a Price” — irked me a […]

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You’re in a long-term happy, sexually active marriage and one day you discover that your spouse has been cheating on you — basically since Day 1. How do you feel?  You’d probably feel heart-broken and devastated, which is how a man writing to author, LGBTQ activist and columnist Dan Savage signed off as in his latest […]

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