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Category Archive for 'Love'

If we are to take the new 60 Minutes/Vanity Fair poll on marriage to heart, then Americans are still stuck in some sort of happily-ever-after rom-com version of wedded bliss. But like a lot of polls, the ways questions are phrased, what gets asked and what doesn’t, and who gets asked and who doesn’t have […]

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We are approaching Valentine’s Day, the most romantic time of the year, according to many. It’s when we buy a card and chocolates in heart-shaped boxes, and profess our love to our one true love. But what if you have two true loves? If you’re Carrie Jenkins, a philosophy professor at the University of British […]

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On a rainy cold night recently, I watched “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” again, the Oscar-winning 2004 film about love by screenwriter Charlie Kaufman and Michel Gondry that developed a cult following of sorts. Ostensibly, the romantic-sci-fi-comedy-drama addresses the importance of memory even as we struggle to get closure after a relationship falls apart […]

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I am not a fan of the self-help industry nor of most so-called relationship “experts.” Whenever people start spewing what someone should or shouldn’t do, I get nervous. Who can tell us what’s right or wrong for us? That said, some people often make sense in sharing their stories of their missteps and what they […]

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We had been talking about honesty in romantic relationships — how honest should you be, and if there’s a place for little white lies.  It was prompted by a memory. Years ago a friend was egged on by her husband to tell him her fantasies. She hesitated for a long time because her fantasy involved […]

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Let’s say you’re in a long-term marriage, one that’s pretty satisfying. You love your spouse, your spouse loves you, but you have a lot of things on your plate — work and kids and other things — and you’ve lost your sexual mojo. Would you tell your spouse, “Please have sex with someone else?”  That’s […]

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I’ve long been a fan of the writings of Meg-John Barker, a psychology lecturer and sex and gender therapist whose book, Rewriting the Rules, is a must-read for those who question the romantic love script most of us tend to follow as if it’s the only path available to us.  So I was not surprised […]

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Recently, an old Modern Love piece appeared in my social media feed. It was about consensual non-monogamy so of course I had to click on it. I suppose it was a popular piece, as most Modern Love essays are, but this one — “When an Open Relationship Comes at a Price” — irked me a […]

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You’re in a long-term happy, sexually active marriage and one day you discover that your spouse has been cheating on you — basically since Day 1. How do you feel?  You’d probably feel heart-broken and devastated, which is how a man writing to author, LGBTQ activist and columnist Dan Savage signed off as in his latest […]

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The cover of a recent Time magazine declared, “How to stay married (and why).” As you probably know, I am not against marriage or for it either despite the fact that I  co-wrote a book about marriage. OK, yes, my co-author and I did say in the book that we were for marriage, but — […]

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