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Category Archive for 'Consensual nonmonogamy'

Jay-Z just released his latest album, 4:44, and it’s gathering the same buzz as the last record put out by his wife, Beyoncé — not just for the music, but because of what they’re talking about. In last year’s Lemonade, Beyoncé alluded to her husband’s alleged infidelity — remember that video showing Beyoncé’s sister Solange physically […]

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“Is an open marriage a happier marriage,” a recent New York Times magazine cover story written by Susan Dominus asked. With a headline and topic like that, of course it went viral — as if no one ever considered that consensual nonmonogamy has existed for decades and, yes, it might actually be a good thing […]

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I don’t often get nostalgic or feel thankful that I grew up when I did because things were better back then. But I just finished reading two books about what’s happening on college campuses now — American Hookup: The New Culture of Sex on Campus by sociologist Lisa Wade and Unwanted Advances: Sexual Paranoia Comes […]

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If we are to take the new 60 Minutes/Vanity Fair poll on marriage to heart, then Americans are still stuck in some sort of happily-ever-after rom-com version of wedded bliss. But like a lot of polls, the ways questions are phrased, what gets asked and what doesn’t, and who gets asked and who doesn’t have […]

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We are approaching Valentine’s Day, the most romantic time of the year, according to many. It’s when we buy a card and chocolates in heart-shaped boxes, and profess our love to our one true love. But what if you have two true loves? If you’re Carrie Jenkins, a philosophy professor at the University of British […]

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Monogamous marriage is unromantic. Not my words but the words of actor Hugh Grant while promoting the movie Florence Foster Jenkins. As he told radio host Howard Stern: I can see the lovely aspect if you marry exactly the right person — your best friend and it’s cozy and it’s lovely. But, people make so […]

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When I interviewed Eric Anderson, an American sociologist at England’s University of Winchester, a few years ago, when his provocative book, The Monogamy Gap: Men, Love, and the Reality of Cheating, was published, I was disturbed by his claim that cheating is a rational choice for people constrained by the social dictate of monogamy. According […]

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Affairs have suddenly popped up in the national conversation, and honesty — who doesn’t like a good open discussion about the dishonesty of infidelity? OK, well maybe it’s just me … Former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani, a pal of Donald Trump’s, recently suggested in a conversation slamming Hillary Clinton about Bill Clinton’s affairs that […]

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Let’s say you’re in a long-term marriage, one that’s pretty satisfying. You love your spouse, your spouse loves you, but you have a lot of things on your plate — work and kids and other things — and you’ve lost your sexual mojo. Would you tell your spouse, “Please have sex with someone else?”  That’s […]

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I’ve long been a fan of the writings of Meg-John Barker, a psychology lecturer and sex and gender therapist whose book, Rewriting the Rules, is a must-read for those who question the romantic love script most of us tend to follow as if it’s the only path available to us.  So I was not surprised […]

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