A girlfriend with whom I have been trying to make plans texted me: she’s free to get together Tuesday or Wednesday night.
I’m free both nights, too, but then it occurred to me — Tuesday is Valentine’s Day. Even in liberal, open-minded Bay Area, would two women grabbing drinks and dinner together on the most romantic night of the year outside of New Year’s Eve — assuming you buy into that crap — seem a bit … odd?
It’s so silly, but probably, yes.
Valentine’s Day is a day that we supposedly celebrate romantic love, not love of pets, family, food or friends. OK, I can understand that. So then why do so many magazine articles and advice columnists advise the single — well, the female single — among us to see the day as a way to celebrate love, any kind of love, so we can “survive” it. 
Either it’s a day for romantic love or just plain ol’ love, in which case we can figure it out on our own, thank you very much.
Valentine’s Day seems to be a day that often leads to people feeling unhappy and unloved or not loved enough (“He only gave me a card! No flowers! No chocolates!”) which is the exact opposite of what it was designed to be (if the holiday, and I use that term loosely, indeed had a master plan, and I’m not so sure about that). Many people use Valentine’s Day as a springboard to split.
Which leads to me this question: What makes us happy on Valentine’s Day (assuming we have a partner)?
Do we expect a gift, say flowers or chocolates?
Do we expect something more, like jewelry or dinner at a fancy restaurant?
Do we expect all of the above?
Do we expect sex?
Are we OK with just a card?
What about just a phone call from our beloved?
My friend is seeing someone with whom she is not in a relationship; spending Valentine’s Day together wouldn’t be appropriate. My long-time boyfriend is self-employed and works nights; taking the night off to be with me would be a financial disaster for him. Besides the fact that I couldn’t care less about Valentine’s Day.
Neither my friend nor I feel like we have to “survive” the day. Why do women — and, sorry, but this is a woman thing, not a guy thing, because I have never seen a “surviving Valentine’s Day” column in a magazine or website for men — believe Valentine’s Day is something to survive, alone or creatively (like volunteering, or having a gals’ night, or loving ourselves by getting a facial or massage, etc.)?
What do you want on Valentine’s Day, and why do you want it?
Would you still feel OK about yourself and love if you didn’t get it?
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