A journalist and author's musings on love, marriage, divorce and life
Posted in Cohabitation, Dating, Divorce, Expectations, Family, Marriage, Singles on Jan 14th, 2013
“So, what are you and ‘J’ going to do?” a friend asked recently. ‘J’ is my boyfriend and we do a lot of things, some of which are not appropriate to discuss publicly. “What do you mean?” “Are you ever going to get married or live together or something like that?” Oh, that question. It’s […]
Posted in Children, Expectations, Sex, Stereotypes on Dec 24th, 2012
It’s Christmas and my friend’s child wants a pink bike. That’s not a problem — lots of companies make pink bikes. For girls. Her child is a boy. It’s hard being a boy who’s drawn to the color pink. Not that the kids see anything wrong with it – it’s just a color, after all. […]
Posted in Cohabitation, Divorce, Expectations, Midlife, Singles on Oct 23rd, 2012
“Do you think you’d still be married if all the bad stuff hadn’t happened?” a friend asked me recently. “Uh, I don’t know,” I answered after a few minutes. It’s true, I don’t really know. I’d like to believe that in what would be 14 years into our marriage, we still would be. I certainly thought […]
Posted in Divorce, Expectations, Marriage, Stereotypes on Sep 24th, 2012
I was married for 14 years. The marriage produced two amazing young men. Nine years ago, it ended in divorce, and their dad and I have co-parented well. Please don’t call my marriage a failed marriage. A friend recently called me to task on why I am so resistant to calling a marriage that ends […]
Posted in Dating, Expectations, Infidelity, Men, Mothers, Singles, Women on Aug 21st, 2012
We all talk about how “hard” relationships are, and I’ll agree — they can be. But it’s interesting how we often make relationships hard because we don’t see how our own behaviors create dysfunction. I am observing a relatively new romance. One partner has a lot of long-time friends of the opposite sex, the other […]
Posted in Cohabitation, Dating, Divorce, Expectations, Infidelity, Sex on Jul 30th, 2012
The big infidelity news this week was a story about 22-year-old actress Kristen Stewart cheating on her boyfriend, Robert Pattinson, with married “Snow White and the Huntsman” director Rupert Sanders — if you even consider kissing and hugging cheating, which is all the tabloids caught them doing and all Stewart’s acknowledged. Still, it was enough […]
Posted in Divorce, Expectations, Marriage on Jul 2nd, 2012
No sooner did word get out that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes were divorcing after five years of marriage than rumors of a marriage contract between them resurfaced. Judging by the comments people are leaving on websites like Huffington Post, etc., a marriage contract isn’t a “real” marriage (although a marriage license is just a […]
Posted in Dating, Divorce, Expectations, Relationships, Sex on Jul 2nd, 2012
I had been sitting at a table in the bar area of a local restaurant waiting for a girlfriend when the reality of my new life as a divorcee smacked me in the face and made me pay attention. “Joe,” a man I knew casually through work, was comfortably situated on his barstool and, after […]
Posted in Divorce, Expectations, Marriage, Midlife, Parenting on Jun 11th, 2012
My son’s high school graduation last week was a sea of faces filled with a mix of joy, exhaustion, sadness and uncertainty — not just the 18-year-olds but their parents as well. As I looked around me, I wondered how many married couples, a good portion about to be empty-nesters, would still be married for […]
Posted in Divorce, Family, Men, Mothers, Parenting, Women on May 14th, 2012
I consider myself pretty lucky that when I divorced, my former spouse and I were civil enough — or maybe just too cheap! — to mediate and avoid lawyers and stay out of family court. And, we agreed that we would coparent 50-50, one week on, one week off. It hasn’t always been easy for any […]
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