A journalist and author's musings on love, marriage, divorce and life
Posted in Cohabitation, Expectations, Love, Relationships on Jun 20th, 2017
Perhaps you grew up loving fairy tales, where the beautiful princess ends up living happily ever after with a handsome prince. Maybe you watch rom-coms where the guy and girl end up together despite impossible odds. Maybe you’re addicted to The Bachelor or The Bachelorette and what happens to the lucky couples. When love stories […]
Posted in Expectations, Men, Relationships, Wife, Women on Jun 13th, 2017
In a brilliant essay in the New York Times this past weekend, “America Made Me a Feminist,” former supermodel Paulina Porizkova wrote about how women are treated around the world, or at least the countries she’s lived in, and in America. Moving to France after living in Sweden for a number of years, where women […]
Posted in Divorce, Expectations, Marriage, Relationships on Jun 6th, 2017
Recently, a dating coach for women got upset with me on social media. He works with clients who want to get married one day, and, as a happily married man himself, he thought some of the articles I’d written or tweeted are anti-marriage. What do I have against marriage, he wondered. Except here’s the truth: I […]
Posted in Divorce, Expectations, Marriage, Men, Midlife, Relationships on May 30th, 2017
I’ve been married and divorced twice, but when I divorced the first time — in my 20s, with no children — I never paid attention to any articles about reinventing myself as a divorcee. Not to say that there weren’t articles about that; perhaps there were but this was in the days before the internet […]
Posted in Consensual nonmonogamy, Expectations, Infidelity, Relationships, Sex on May 23rd, 2017
“Is an open marriage a happier marriage,” a recent New York Times magazine cover story written by Susan Dominus asked. With a headline and topic like that, of course it went viral — as if no one ever considered that consensual nonmonogamy has existed for decades and, yes, it might actually be a good thing […]
Posted in Expectations, Men, Relationships, Sex, Women on May 16th, 2017
Your spouse mentions that you haven’t had sex in weeks. You’re not really in the mood but, hey, it has been a long time and you just don’t want to get into a thing about sex — again — so you give in. The person you’ve been seeing for a few weeks asks you to […]
Posted in Aging, Expectations, Love, Men, Politics, Relationships, Women on May 9th, 2017
Emmanuel Macron made history this past weekend — at 39, he’s the youngest man to be elected president of France. While many might applaud that, as well as his centrist policies over the nationalistic views of his former opponent, Marine Le Pen, others were astonished by the 25-year age gap between Macron and his wife, […]
Posted in Consensual nonmonogamy, Coupledom, Dating, Expectations, Love, Millennials, Relationships, Sex on May 2nd, 2017
I don’t often get nostalgic or feel thankful that I grew up when I did because things were better back then. But I just finished reading two books about what’s happening on college campuses now — American Hookup: The New Culture of Sex on Campus by sociologist Lisa Wade and Unwanted Advances: Sexual Paranoia Comes […]
Posted in Caregiving, Children, Expectations, Heartbreak, Parenting, Relationships on Apr 25th, 2017
Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook’s chief operating officer and founder of Lean In, experienced the kind of grief some of us already know and what most married people will likely know — the sudden death of a spouse. Her husband, Dave, died of cardiac arrhythmia while they were on a Mexican vacation in 2015, and Sandburg had […]
Posted in Children, Expectations, Love, Marriage, Relationships, Sex, Stereotypes on Apr 18th, 2017
Back when my New I Do co-author and I were doing research for our book and interviewing engaged couples about why they wanted to wed (most were already living together), one groom-to-be mentioned sex among the many reasons. “You want to marry for sex?” his fiancee asked, somewhat horrified. He immediately got sheepish as he […]
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