A journalist and author's musings on love, marriage, divorce and life
Posted in Consensual nonmonogamy, Expectations, Friends, Love, Relationships on Aug 9th, 2016
I’ve long been a fan of the writings of Meg-John Barker, a psychology lecturer and sex and gender therapist whose book, Rewriting the Rules, is a must-read for those who question the romantic love script most of us tend to follow as if it’s the only path available to us. So I was not surprised […]
Posted in Aging, Caregiving, Children, Expectations, Family, Marital plan, Relationships, Women on Jul 26th, 2016
You’ve consciously coupled. You and your spouse discussed everything from money to sex to children to in-laws to household chores. Maybe you even read The New I Do (hey, an author can dream, right?). I applaud you and support you. Still, I’ll bet there’s something you didn’t discuss, and it’s not because you’re oblivious. You’re […]
Posted in Consensual nonmonogamy, Expectations, Love, Marital plan, Marriage, Relationships on Jul 19th, 2016
Recently, an old Modern Love piece appeared in my social media feed. It was about consensual non-monogamy so of course I had to click on it. I suppose it was a popular piece, as most Modern Love essays are, but this one — “When an Open Relationship Comes at a Price” — irked me a […]
Posted in Consensual nonmonogamy, Divorce, Expectations, Heartbreak, Infidelity, Love, Marriage, Relationships, Sex on Jul 12th, 2016
You’re in a long-term happy, sexually active marriage and one day you discover that your spouse has been cheating on you — basically since Day 1. How do you feel? You’d probably feel heart-broken and devastated, which is how a man writing to author, LGBTQ activist and columnist Dan Savage signed off as in his latest […]
Posted in Divorce, Expectations, Marriage, Relationships on Jul 5th, 2016
Fans far and wide reacted to Eat, Pray, Love author Elizabeth Gilbert’s announcement last week that she and her companion of 12 years and husband of 9 years, Jose Nunes (aka Felipe in her best-selling book), are separating. It’s never an easy decision, even for a woman who so publicly wrote about the demise of […]
Posted in Cohabitation, Coupledom, Divorce, Expectations, Love, Marriage, Men, Relationships, Singles, Stereotypes, Women on Jun 21st, 2016
The cover of a recent Time magazine declared, “How to stay married (and why).” As you probably know, I am not against marriage or for it either despite the fact that I co-wrote a book about marriage. OK, yes, my co-author and I did say in the book that we were for marriage, but — […]
Posted in Caregiving, Children, Coupledom, Expectations, Family, Gender, Love, Marriage, Mothers, Relationships, Wife, Work on Jun 14th, 2016
A few years ago a woman wrote to me out of the blue. She had been reading this blog and saw me as a woman who “got” it. What did I get? The right for women invest in their own life and not put a husband’s needs and wants over hers. A successful business- woman […]
Posted in Beauty, Coupledom, Dating, Expectations, Love, Marriage, Relationships on Jun 7th, 2016
Why do you date? If you’re like most people, it’s most likely because you’re hoping to never have to date again — which means you find someone special to settle down with and be a committed, loving couple and perhaps even wed. What other purpose would there be to going through all the time, energy […]
Posted in Consensual nonmonogamy, Expectations, Infidelity, Marriage, Relationships, Sex, Stereotypes, Wife, Women on May 31st, 2016
According to New York magazine, women are cheating as men as men. The article cites some studies indicating that in the past two decades, the percentage of hubbys admitting to cheating hasn’t changed, but the percentage of wives fessing up rose almost 40 percent. Call me cynical, but why is this news to anyone? For […]
Posted in Expectations, Infidelity, Marriage, Men, Relationships, Stereotypes on May 24th, 2016
Years ago, I was a cliche — I was the Other Woman. I was in my 20s and working with someone whom I liked as a coworker and whom I found attractive. I don’t recall how the conversation started, but somehow he convinced me that he and his wife were only staying together until their […]
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