A journalist and author's musings on love, marriage, divorce and life
Posted in Dating, Gender, Happiness, Men, Needs, Relationships, Romantic relationships, Sex, Singles, Women on Dec 19th, 2017
If you haven’t read “Cat Person” yet — Kristen Roupenian’s short story in the New Yorker of an ill-fated relationship (aka an uncomfortable one-night stand) between Margot, a 20-year old college student, and Robert, a 34-year-old man whom she met at the movie theater where she works — I’m betting you have at least heard of […]
Posted in Beta marriage, Divorce, Expectations, Happiness, Marital plan, Marriage, Relationships, Romantic relationships, Women on Dec 12th, 2017
I am a champion of short-term love. That is how I have lived my entire life although, granted, I did say, “I do” twice with the presumption that those marriages would be forever. That’s all I knew, that was the romantic script; I didn’t know that we had choices. But we do. I have long […]
Posted in Children, Consensual nonmonogamy, Expectations, Family, Live Apart Together, Love, Marriage, Midlife, Needs, Parenting, Relationships, Romantic relationships, Sex on Dec 5th, 2017
It’s December, beginning of engagement season. So if you’ve already gotten a ring, or hoping to get one this month, there’s just one thing left to do after you’re told your loved ones and friends, and posted your bling on Facebook and Instagram. No, not start planning your wedding — start planning your marriage. First […]
Posted in Beta marriage, Expectations, Family, Live Apart Together, Marriage, Relationships, Weddings, Wife, Women on Nov 28th, 2017
The big news this week was the announcement that Prince Harry and girlfriend Meghan Markle became engaged and are planning to marry in the spring. Although some may say her prince has come, theirs is no fairy-tale romance — Markle is a thoroughly out-of the-box modern bride. At 36, she’s older than her husband-to-be, who’s […]
Posted in Caregiving, Children, Expectations, Infidelity, Marriage, Men, Mothers, Needs, Relationships, Sex, Wife, Women on Nov 21st, 2017
Your spouse had an affair — can that benefit your marriage? According to renowned therapist Esther Perel’s new book The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity, maybe. Perel explores a lot in her book — much more than I can address here — but I was particularly drawn to her exploration of why more women are […]
Posted in Caregiving, Children, Cohabitation, Expectations, Family, Love, Marriage, Parenting, Relationships, Single parents on Nov 14th, 2017
Do we need marriage? The answer might be Iceland. For much of history, marriage mattered. It was a way to make sure property could be passed to heirs, alliances could be forged (often to avoid wars), children could be reared, society could be assured that caregiving would be taken care of and a lot of […]
Posted in Coupledom, Expectations, Happiness, Love, Marriage, Relationships, Wife, Women on Nov 7th, 2017
It’s your anniversary (Aw.) You buy your spouse a card, a gift, make plans for a special getaway (and if you have kids, you arrange for someone to care for them for the dinner/weekend away) and that should be it — right? Well, it used to be all that was needed. but nowadays you have […]
Posted in Caregiving, Children, Consensual nonmonogamy, Expectations, Family, Happiness, Marriage, Needs, Parenting, Relationships, Sex on Oct 31st, 2017
The recent release of the movie Professor Marston and the Wonder Women has been heralded as “a trailblazer for polyamory in film” for depicting a polyamorous arrangement in a positive light. But the story, based on the lives of William Moulton Marston, the creator of Wonder Woman, his wife, Elizabeth, and his — and their […]
Posted in Divorce, Expectations, Marriage, Relationships, Tragedy on Oct 24th, 2017
Hurricanes, earthquake, fires — there have been so many natural disasters in recent weeks around the world that it all felt a bit apocalyptic. As people struggled with losing homes, possessions and entire communities as well as loved ones and a sense of normalcy, you would think they’ve suffered enough. But as fate would have […]
Posted in Coupledom, Dating, Expectations, Marriage, Millennials, Needs, Relationships, Romantic relationships, Sex, Singles on Oct 17th, 2017
You’re single, let’s say by choice not chance, and you have a full, happy life. There’s only one thing missing — sex. How do you get it? This was a question posed on a private singles group moderated by social scientist Bella DePaulo, author of Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and […]
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