A journalist and author's musings on love, marriage, divorce and life
Posted in Caregiving, Expectations, Gender, Marriage, Men, Midlife, Needs, Relationships, Wife, Women on Nov 27th, 2018
Marriage makes people healthy. Or at least that’s what we are constantly told, according to studies that pop up from time to time. While singles advocate Bella dePaulo frequently writes articles debunking those studies, now a new study indicates that, well, she may be both right and wrong. Marriage does help in keeping some people […]
Posted in Consensual nonmonogamy, Coupledom, Expectations, Happiness, Heartbreak, Needs, Relationships, Romantic relationships, Sex on Nov 20th, 2018
It’s almost Thanksgiving, the beginning of the holiday season and the kick off of “engagement season.” The pressures around the holidays make many of us unhappy, and even if we’re generally OK with our situations — partnered or not — it’s hard not to buy into the whole “most wonderful time of the year” thing. […]
Posted in Children, Expectations, Happiness, Love, Marriage, Needs, Politics, Relationships, Wife, Women on Nov 13th, 2018
On the surface, it would be hard to find a more picture-perfect healthy, happy marriage — especially an uber-public marriage — than Michelle and Barack Obama’s. Despite the temptation to compare our romantic relationships with the curated happy relationships we often see on Instagram and Facebook — and some of us are guilty of that […]
Posted in Dating, Expectations, Happiness, Love, Needs, Relationships, Romantic relationships on Nov 6th, 2018
Someone loves you — in a romantic way — and you love that person in return. Do you have an obligation to try to stay alive as long as possible because it would be painful for your partner if you die? That’s an issue brought up in Free Solo, a new documentary about Alex Honnold, […]
Posted in Consensual nonmonogamy, Expectations, Men, Needs, Relationships, Sex, Singles, Women on Oct 30th, 2018
#MeToo stories have been dominating the news for the past year, and many men are exploring their own behavior toward women and what masculinity means to them — all necessary discussions. Women, men are finally beginning to understand, have sexual agency. But based on a discussion I had with a 52-year-old man I had just […]
Posted in Children, Divorce, Expectations, Family, Happiness, Marriage, Needs, Parenting, Relationships on Oct 9th, 2018
Beautiful Boy is hitting the movie theaters next week, a film based on the best-selling books by father and son David and Nic Sheff. It’s a heart wrenching look at addiction — extremely timely, as overdoses are now the leading cause of death of Americans under the age of 50. But the back story is […]
Posted in Aging, Caregiving, Dating, Divorce, Expectations, Happiness, Love, Marriage, Men, Midlife, Needs, Relationships, Women on Sep 25th, 2018
There’s been a lot of talk about so-called gray divorces — people aged 50 and older who exit their often long-term marriage for a variety of reasons. Some look forward to their newfound freedom as singles, some seek casual arrangements, some are eager to partner again but not marry, and some remarry and replicate the […]
Posted in Consensual nonmonogamy, Expectations, Infidelity, Love, Marriage, Needs, Relationships, Sex, Women on Sep 18th, 2018
For many years everything I read and heard, and thus believed, is that women aren’t good at casual sex, only have affairs for love, eventually become disinterested in sex and do best in monogamous relationships. OK, but my lived experience proved otherwise. True, I’ve been a serial monogamist, which I interpret as being pretty good […]
Posted in Beta marriage, Divorce, Expectations, Happiness, Live Apart Together, Love, Marriage, Needs, Relationships, Renewable marriage, Sex on Sep 11th, 2018
A few weeks ago, I heard from Christina Hoff Sommers and Danielle Crittenden, creators of the Femsplainers podcast, who kindly asked me to join them for Season Two and talk about reshaping marriage a la The New I Do: Reshaping Marriage for Skeptics, Realists and Rebels. And so I did. Sommers, the author of five […]
Posted in Aging, Caregiving, Divorce, Expectations, Happiness, Infidelity, Marital plan, Marriage, Men, Midlife, Millennials, Needs, Parenting, Relationship contract, Relationships, Romantic relationships, Women on Jul 31st, 2018
While divorce isn’t nearly the 50 percent of all marriages we’ve been lead to believe, there’s one group that has seen the rate of divorce skyrocket — boomers, or those aged 50 and older, aka gray divorce. OK, great, but if you’re not a boomer, does it even matter? Well, yeah. Because even if you’re […]
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