A journalist and author's musings on love, marriage, divorce and life
Posted in Cohabitation, Expectations, Family, Marriage, Relationships, Stereotypes on Jun 10th, 2013
A few months ago, I asked, does getting married make you an adult? It’s a question that came up when my The New I Do: Reshaping Marriage for Cynics, Commitaphobes and Connubial DIYers coauthor, Susan Pease Gadoua, and I met with two soon-to-be-married couples separately as we gathered research for our book. “Marriage is just […]
Posted in Divorce, Expectations, Fathers, Marriage, Men, Mothers, Parenting, Relationships, Sex, Singles on May 28th, 2013
I was at a party, the kind where bosoms, booze and mouths overflowed. There wasn’t much happening with my bosom, but my then-husband’s mouth was going for it. “You know,” he said to my dearest friend, “I like being married but living like I’m single.” When she shared that with me the next day we […]
Posted in Divorce, Expectations, Marriage, Relationships on May 20th, 2013
Why are so many people unhappy in their relationship? That’s a hard question to answer, although that doesn’t stop people from trying to figure it out. According to Dana Adam Shapiro’s research for his book You Can Be Right (or You Can Be Married), very few married people are happy — he says about 17 […]
Posted in Cohabitation, Divorce, Expectations, Marriage, Stereotypes on May 13th, 2013
Gwyneth Paltrow — the most beautiful woman in the world, according to People — confessed to what Ben Affleck admitted a few months ago — marriage is hard and it takes work. “It’s hard being married. You go through great times, you go through terrible times. We’re the same as any couple,” Paltrow said of […]
Posted in Expectations, Family, Marriage, Stereotypes, Work on Apr 29th, 2013
I didn’t know much about Marco, the guy who kindly takes me to and from my mechanic and my job when my car needs servicing. I knew he is in the States legally, I knew he worked about 70 hours a week at two jobs, I knew he had a wife and a 9-year-old son […]
Posted in Divorce, Expectations, Family, Marriage, Men, Women on Apr 15th, 2013
There’s an image we have about marriage, about “two becoming one.” Anyone who’s been married for length of time realizes that’s a bit of a lie. We’re still people with our own needs. In fact, many believe what we experience is a “his” and a “her” marriage. Some 50 years ago, sociologist Jessie Bernard noted […]
Posted in Divorce, Expectations, Infidelity, Marriage, Sex, Stereotypes on Apr 8th, 2013
Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith have been in the headlines a lot in recent years, and not because of their movies. They’re either on the verge of divorce or they have an open marriage; I’m not sure which horrifies people more. I can understand why people might be concerned about them divorcing; they have […]
Posted in Aging, Beauty, Children, Expectations, Family, Marriage, Singles, Women, Work on Apr 1st, 2013
I have been following the kerfuffle over Susan Patton’s letter in the Daily Princetonian, in which the former Princeton grad and mom to two Princeton-educated sons advises Princeton women to nab a hubby on campus before they graduate: “Princeton women, we have almost priced ourselves out of the market … you will never again be surrounded […]
Posted in Aging, Beauty, Children, Expectations, Marriage, Men, Sex, Women on Mar 19th, 2013
The HuffPo had a piece today on the double standard on weight gain for spouses. A woman had written to an advice columnist about how fat and lazy her longtime partner — whom she also describes as “intelligent, accomplished, emotionally mature, kind, loving, and funny” — had become, only to be told, “I’m sick, sick, […]
Posted in Dating, Expectations, Marriage, Men, Midlife, Singles, Women on Mar 11th, 2013
As some of you know, Susan Pease Gadoua and I are co-writing The New I Do: Reshaping Marriage for Skeptics, Realists and Rebels (and just snagged a literary agent, so things are really looking promising!) While it’s essential to talk about reinventing marriage to get the marriage you want, here’s an interesting question to ask […]
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