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Maybe some could see it coming. Maybe some feared it could happen. Maybe some were genuinely shocked. Nevertheless, Jennifer Aniston and hubby Justin Theroux have split after more than four years as a committed couple and two years as a married couple, and now Aniston’s romantic life will be mercilessly scrutinized while Theroux will just be seen as just another man heading to Paris, smiling.

Of course, Aniston has been been mercilessly scrutinized ever since former hubby Brad Pitt left her for Angelina Jolie, and was categorized as a tragically single woman who couldn’t keep a man then who finally found true love with Theroux (but who didn’t marry her right away — which seemed problematic — until they finally wed), and now that they are splitting is right back in the thick of it, including articles suggesting, once again, that she can’t keep a man, that she’s made bad relationship choices (it’s always the woman’s fault, right?), that she’s heartbroken (wouldn’t any person, male or female, who wanted to make a go of it be?), and that maybe she and Brad should get back together (because … why?)

Cue the “poor Jen” stories and headlines.

What kind of man gets this kind of romantic scrutiny? Sure, there were lots of stories about George Clooney, deemed a perpetual bachelor even though he’d been married and had several long-term relationships before —  finally — marrying Amal and becoming a dad. It’s just that there’s an extra layer of pathos if we’re talking about women, especially “older “women — Aniston is 49, hardly “older” but 49 nonetheless. You can read into that what you will.

That said, all the talk about Aniston — whether single, engaged, married or divorced — sounds all too familiar: she’s miserable, alone, frustrated, sad or forlorn without a man;  a woman whose desperation led her to tie the knot too soon; a woman whose dreams have “been shattered” after being “dumped;” because obviously, all she wants is a man — or maybe babies.

What are we to make of such talk?

How about — nothing?

Let’s ignore it. Let’s let all women, whether single, married or divorced, mothers or childfree, celebrity or not, just be women — or better yet, people, with no expectation of what kind of person they should be or the kind of life they should have. Let’s get past that initial moment of judgment and be open to what others may want, even if it doesn’t look like what we might choose or want.

I understand some of us are slightly obsessed with celebrities. I just hope we can get past labeling people as being sad, lonely and desperate if they don’t have a romantic partner — especially women, because society still wants to believe that we gals can’t possibly have a fulfilling life without a man or children.

But we can — even if we’d like to find love again.

After her split from Pitt, Aniston made it clear: She doesn’t believe in one true love and she doesn’t believe in closing her heart. “I think there are many people, many soul mates. … Maybe it’s a fairy tale, but I believe in happily ever after.”

There’s no reason for Aniston to stop believing now.

Want to individualize your marriage? (Of course you do!) Then read The New I Do: Reshaping Marriage for Skeptics, Realists and Rebels (Seal Press). You can support your local indie bookstore or order it on Amazon.

 


One Response to “Jennifer Aniston will live happily ever after, partnered or not”

  1. Jono says:

    Remember, Jen hasn’t met ME yet! The only thing her other men had that I don’t are looks, youth, and money. Other than that I would be perfect for her. 🙂

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