I don’t know how anyone can make a love triangle feel good for everyone, but there are some love triangles that just appear downright, I dunno, weird.
Take the Mark Sanford-Jenn Sanford-Maria Belen Chapur saga. 
The Sanfords’ bitter divorce drags on — five years after the married South Carolina Representative mysteriously disappeared only to be found in Argentina with his lover — thanks to complications over visitation arrangements for their four sons. This week, more twists and turns have occurred. On Sept. 12, Sanford suddenly ended his two-year engagement with Chapur (for some odd reason, quite publicly on Facebook.
Say what you will about Sanford’s methods when it comes to relationships (then and now), but there are a few unhappy circumstances surrounding his divorce from his former wife and potential marriage to his fiancee that make me pause.
Sanford turned to Facebook (bad idea!) to respond to what clearly had been somewhat privately discussed with Chapur first. Sanford evidently told his fiancee that he needed two more years before they tied the knot. Why? That’s when his 16-year-old son would no longer be a minor and thus no longer a legal issue to tussle over with his former wife. Sanford also acknowledged that creating family with a person who helped bust up an existing family is, well, a bit complicated. Anyone who has had to live with a cheating parent and his or her lover knows that all too well; it’s one of those worst-case scenario divorces, and the anger and resentment can last decades. As Sanford wrote:
“No relationship can stand forever this tension of being forced to pick between the one you love and your own son or daughter, and for this reason Belen and I have decided to call off the engagement. Maybe there will be another chapter when waters calm with Jenny, but at this point the environment is not conducive to building anything given no one would want to be caught in the middle of what’s now happening.”
His affair and divorce have been in the public eye for years (and I’m not saying they shouldn’t be), which adds an extra layer of angst to a new relationship. I just can’t help but feel bad for his kids, especially the 16-year-old still at home, who are most likely expected to accept (embrace?) the partner who in their eyes helped “destroy” their family.
So, what’s the problem now, years after the affair became public, the marriage disintegrated and the mistress became a respectable fiancee?
Well, a lot that speaks to all that can go wrong in love. Sanford’s former wife’s latest motion asks that both she and her former husband be banned from having overnight guests of the opposite sex who could be considered a “paramour” while their sons are in the house. Meanwhile, Chapur has been pressuring him to marry, saying that she didn’t want to “continue in the category of mistress.”
Wait, what? How does a fiancee, a woman you’ve proposed marriage to and who responded with a yes (and presumably has a pricey rock to show the world), remain in the “mistress” or “paramour” category? Well, she doesn’t although it’s clear that in Jenny and Maria’s mind she does.
I’d like to ask all the newly engaged women of the word, are you a mistress?
Shoving a fiancee into that category speaks more to the fact that the former Mrs. Sanford is angry and resentful that her former husband has not only found happiness with someone else, but that he also happens to be finding that happiness with the woman who caused her marriage to fall apart. I’m sure that hurts.
And I’m sure the the former mistress is upset, too. She wants to move on with the relationship and become legit — aka the next Mrs. Sanford.
(polls)
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way to be completely judgmental…
lots of this infidelity and divorce has been in the public eye, but you have no idea what has gone down in that marriage, affair, divorce and after the divorce behind closed doors.
ending with jenny let go, just let go….right…cause mark’s diatribe on FB must be completely true and he never made himself look like the good guy that he must be. he just wanted to be with his soul mate, the angry, bitter ex-wife just wants to spite mark and soul mate and prevent his happiness and is completely to blame for this continuing divorce drama. 3 sides to all stories – his side, her side and the truth.
unless you you lived in that household, have all sides of the story , this little article is just rubbish.
Twitter: OMGchronicles
says:
Moxie, thanks for commenting but you are missing the point.
I hold them equally accountable for their bad actions. That said, Jenny is indeed the one who is making strange demands and continually taking him back to court. That’s the truth.
A person who wants to dictate whether a fiancee can sleep over at a former spouse’s house or not, unless there’s proof of abuse or other dangerous behavior, is just trying to micromanage the situation. And guess who gets hurt? Not Mark or Jenny, but their teenaged son, stuck in the middle of two warring parents.
Instead of fighting him for 5 years, she might have considered learning how to be the best co-parent with him that she can be. If she was truly putting her son’s welfare first, she would understand that. Kids need their parents to stop the conflict. She’s just continuing it. Sorry, that’s wrong, no matter how wrong Mark also is.
Still wrong. How do we know about their continuing legal battles–because HE told us? Why does he continue to have to announce to the world how great he is, and that he is doing the right thing, and telling us how horrible she is? She has NOT… Why has he NOT married the mistress? Wouldn’t that answer all charges? Nothing can be done if he makes her the next Mrs. Sanford. I suspect Jenny knows something we don’t, and something HE is not willing to tell us. I have walked in Jenny’s shoes and know so many other women who have also, the man behind the mask is NOT who you think he is. Otherwise, he would be acting completely honorably–and when has he truly ever done that?????? Telling the world it is time to be a good father is NOT putting his son first, it is putting his gigantic ego first, AGAIN, for all the world to see, so people like you can praise him and malign her…
I want my time back from reading this ridiculous article. Yeah, let’s BASH THE WIFE. She hasn’t been through enough public humiliation, let’s callously tell her to Let Go and Move On! Jeez. Nice compassion. I can’t imagine the horrific personal pain his wife has endured and continues to endure privately. Mark Sanford chose to go public. In fact, the response to his FB article were predominantly anti-Mark. He did not get the overwhelming support he was looking for. Except here on this article.
She deserves bashing! She marries a politically-ambitious man who needs her money and social connections. If she’s really that blind, she brought the ensuing uproar on herself. People like her who have money tend to be very suspicious about letting people in to their inner circles. She didn’t protect herself very well, did she? As a man, I’m tired of hearing women excuse themselves from making terrible mate choices. THEY SAID YES!!! Nothing happens if she says no.
Twitter: OMGchronicles
says:
No one is bashing her. But to keep filing ridiculous lawsuits is damaging to her kid. That’s what I’m talking about.
You’re an idiot.
Mark is not well. He has a narcissistic personality disorder. This disorder was manifested in his press conference when he got caught years ago, his behavior since, and his ridiculous FB post recently. He is unstable and crazy.
He’s also a scumbag. He cut loose his fiancee because she had served her political purpose to him, but also because he is seeing a married woman in Savannah.
Jenny lives with a hell from Mark daily and she has to protect her kids. I do not know her dating life, but she is smart, kind and attractive, so my guess is she has a line of guys better than Mark that she can date. She can’t “let go” the safety of her kids.
He’s an attractive guy, you seem so enamored by him, why don’t you date him.
Twitter: OMGchronicles
says:
Well, John, we don’t have to get into character attacks just because we disagree. I am not coming to Sanford’s defense. He clearly is a troubled man. That said, their “kids” are grown except for one, who is nearly an adult. To not allow his fiancee (yes, a fiancee, no longer a mistress) to sleep over at Mark’s home when their teenaged son is home is an attempt to control what she no longer has a right to control. That’s what she needs to let go of; wasted time, energy and money, and clogging up the courts with a bit of insanity.
BTW, I don’t find Sanford attractive, but since seem to find him as such, perhaps you might want to date him.