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There you are, finally pregnant, getting the nursery ready and looking forward to your new role as Mom and — bam, your husband cheats on you.

Wonderful.

At least that’s what happened to Katie Price, one of the stars of the British daytime TV show Loose Women. pregnant_cheating

Not only did hubby Kieran Hayler cheat on her, but he cheated on her with her best friend.

Former Congress-
man Anthony Weiner was sexting (the first time) while wife Huma Abedin was secretly pregnant, back in 2011. Whether you consider that cheating or not, Abedin finally did — filing for divorce after the third sexting scandal.

They weren’t the first poorly behaved dads-to-be.

Common event

The concept of a husband who cheats while his wife is pregnant is “probably more common than people suspect,” says Scott Haltzman, a clinical assistant professor of psychiatry and author of The Secrets of Happily Married Women.

In fact, a 2012 study indicted that men are at a slightly higher risk of cheating when their wife is pregnant.

Why?

It isn’t necessarily about sex. “It can also stem from an emotional need, like a desire to be cared for, to feel important or special,” he says.

Or, as psychologist Robert Rodriguez, author of What’s Your Pregnant Man Thinking?, says, it could be because the husband feels a bit lost — or “usurped by the impending arrival” — and what that may mean for him and his role in the family, which may explain why Rodriguez says about 10 percent of dads-to-be cheat on their partners during pregnancy.

That seems high, but according to Noel Biderman, founder of AshleyMadison.com (remember?), most men start cheating on their wives during pregnancy or right after.

According to Biderman:

sociologists will explain that cohabitation breeds indifference, but the biggest factor ends up being that all of the sudden, especially when a first child or pregnancy is on the scene, your sex life goes from 100 mph to zero. Like, literally, there becomes a period of abstinence. Women feel less attractive so there’s an emotional side to not wanting to be sexually active for some, not all. There’s a healing period of time, and then there’s a demands period of time. Having a newborn is tough. It doesn’t lead to a lot of intimacy. tweet

Men are ‘ill-prepared’

It would be easy to lump their behavior into the “worst-case cheating scenarios,” along with men who cheat on or dump their wife when she’s sick or suffering. Except there’s a difference — pregnancy doesn’t just affect the woman. It changes a man’s identity, it changes his brain, it changes the couple’s dynamics — nothing is the same again. We tend to romanticize motherhood and assume all women want to be mothers — sorry, we don’t. But there aren’t the same expectations of fatherhood for men (although we expect dads to be more than just breadwinners now; we want them to be nurturers, too).

Thus, as Biderman notes, “They’re just ill-prepared for it.”

Let’s face it: having kids, no matter how much we love them, is hard work and research shows that marital satisfaction plummets in the first two years after the birth of a baby.

Do married men know that? Do married women? Better yet, does anyone who’s about to become a parent, married or not, know that?

Surprisingly enough, no — even though there’s a wealth of information out there on how a baby impacts a romantic relationship.

True, most men don’t cheat on their wife when she becomes pregnant. But some do. Nevertheless, the path to fatherhood is complicated for men. Maybe we should start talking about that.

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2 Responses to “Pregnant — and cheated on”

  1. Fight Mysandry says:

    What a load of liberal, feminist clap trap in this article.

    Face reality for heaven’s sake and stop the quasi religious rubbish – trying to moralize all the time.

    Accept the biology instead of fighting against it using a moral template built on fiction.

    Of course men still want sex while their wife is pregnant. Here’s the news ladies though – pregnant women look repulsive and most lose interest in sex anyway.

    We weren’t made to be monogamous – keep deluding yourselves if you like, but no. And men, we don’t get so emotional over sex either. Girls are told how precious they are by society but its just a ruse to reduce teen pregnancy.

    In the end your just a vagina and a man can rent one anywhere these days. (Funny how prostitutes never have libido issues – money is a womderful lubricant it seems)

    Anyway, had sex with hookers through out wife’s pregnancy and well after child birth. Did I hurt anyone? No.

    Was my mood better and was I there for my wife and son? Absolutely.

    Really, ladies, get over yourselves. You’re not that special. The hypocrisy of your position is almost laughable. Sex is only important to you when your SO is doing it with soneone else – yet before that happens you always say companionship is the most important thing.

    What a messed up bunch of people you are.

    • Rob says:

      So true. This is a bunch of feminist nonsense. An even bigger travesty – and a common one – is when the cheating wife gets knocked up by another guy and the poor hubby finds out later. Then he rightly dumps the cheating whore and – behold – is ordered by the gynocentric family court to pay child support for a child that is not his. Yes, that’s right, he will be ordered to pay child support for another man’s child! This happens often and by any moral or ethical standard it is wrong but you certainly don’t hear feminists pointing out the obvious injustice to men in these cases. No, they would rather cheat without consequence to themselves and then whine about men wanting sex when they don’t feel like it.

      Any man who marries one of these feminist whiners (i.e. many or maybe most American women) deserves what he gets. Stay away from entitled western women!

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